Did Marconi span the Atlantic with his legendary letter ‘S’ all those years ago? I would like to think so but science says the rules of propagation have it that long-range, medium frequencies and daylight do not mix.
1901 - Our Albert's Invention
Jeremy Boothroyd, a pleasant young lad,
Was struck by a story he heard from his dad.
It seems that their Albert, of inventive demean,
Had come up back then with his latest machine.
It wasn't much to look at, of that I am sure,
But promised communications for the rich and the poor.
The operator sat in a chair by this wonder
And spoke to another one just like it out yonder.
The workings were known to a few of his friends
And involved a large generator wired into the mains.
One pulled a red lever to make the thing go
And spoke down a bugle but with diction quite low.
Now a chap in the States had a code that was slow
Meaning messages could go with a suck or a blow.
So signalling was changed to his short and a long
And comments and greetings went just like a song.
Then it seems that one day there was some kind of arc
Which leapt from the circuits with a flash and a spark
And fried the poor creature just right where he sat
So that all that was left were his boots and a hat.
It doesn't seem right and it doesn't seem proper
Though Albert called out loud (but not for a copper).
Since he had no insurance - the man was a miser,
He hushed it all up so that no one was the wiser.
Now it happened one day that a well-heeled Canadian
Was passing the shed where our Arthur was dallyin’.
He spied the invention, including the lad's ash,
And offered to buy most of it there and for cash.
What the man wasn't told was the very last input,
That went down the bugle before things went kaput,
Was an order for breakfasts, ”Six sausages, Sue”,
And that one of those S's had stuck in the flue.
This gentleman thought with his luck on the rise
He would transmit some code to the far, other side.
The Atlantic, that is, and it's a very long way
Which would increase his fortune that very same day.
So off to the far corners of the Kingdom he went
And erected a pole and then the gear in a tent.
Where Albert's device was most firmly erected
And fired-up just right in the way he'd expected.
Now he wasn't to know that someone else was out trying
To reach the far side where his receiver was laying.
So on switch-on the last of the S's went forth
On a wavelength much shorter than the other one thought.
While the result to this day is still open to question;
And the difference in techniques have been one suggestion.
Was it Guglielmo's or Albert's the far-side detected ?
But who cares as the path works now just as expected ?
__________________________________
Santa's Christmas Journey
Far, far to the North, just as much as one can,
In caverns so deep - rarely seen by mere man.
There Santa's young Elves are working away
And planning the next clever link to his sleigh.
So down there to NORAD is a very tight beam
With many high frequencies in it to be seen.
The data that streams from his sleigh is complex
With the status and position all coded in hex.
Now often it's said that one man on his own
Couldn't consume the pies left out at each home.
But born in the brains of those industrious men
Is what physics has not yet brought into our ken.
Teleportation is one where all treats are sent back
And sustenance gained from this year's small snack
Feeds those hungry workers, to the very last crumb,
Which helps with their jobs in the New Years to come.
With time being elastic, as many have thought,
He can stretch out his journey to fit as it ought,
And with a parallel universe to simplify his task,
Many synchronous home-visits are nothing to ask.
One problem that confuses man was real easy to fix,
To enable those reindeer to get up to their tricks.
As he goes house-to-house he's in and out in a tick
And gravity's powerless against someone so quick.
As with anything new there are bound to be snags
So its important to have someone back in the labs
To find ways around any problems and more
To advise on which backup to bring to the fore.
I trust then that this goes some-way to explain
How Santa does so much in his very short reign,
And should you find something there under the tree
Please remember the little Elves working for Thee.
- G3LLV 2014 -
This is my idea of how Santa delivers so many presents in such a short length of time.
–––––––––––
Composed for the 2014 Holiday.
A FEW POETIC OFFERINGS (IN THE LOOSEST SENSE) WITH THE THREAT OF MORE TO COME : G3LLV - 2014
Rivals Through the Looking Glass
Tweedledum and Tweedledee held a contest on ten metres.
Said Dum to Dee, “I'll see to Thee and get the best, remotest.”
“Oh no”, said Dee, “It shall not be; I've already logged Bulgaria
And with this rig and tower so big, I'll probably work Australia.”
“No chance”, said Dum, “your overcome with S-points and bravado.
The most you'll do is cause a stew and a pile-up in Llandudno.”
“And if by chance, you get to France; more by luck and hoopla,
I'll bet a pound and risk a round that you'd done it all on D-Star.”
Said Dee to Dum, “I'll have my fun, you'd better watch this space.
There's plenty tried and lost their pride and finished in disgrace.”
“But wait a tick – here comes a hit from lonely, far-off Bhutan.
I'm five by nine and in my prime and bet you can't beat that then.”
“Just move aside”, this Dum to Dee, ”I think that's someone calling.
Well bless my soul, it's the North Pole, our Santa needs cards mailing”.
“He's lots to send, that'll cost no end, as he also wants them speeded.
I'll get on-line and in no time they'll be off to where they're needed.”
Then up the band and down they went; both seeking that rare contact
But every time each took the lead the other one would trump it.
And so it went on hour by hour; just one against the other
Till Alice said, “Its time for tea; which one of you'll be Mother?”
Just then the flood gates opened up with signals for the taking,
“I've lost my sails: Been struck by whales: My position I've no inkling,”
And upon my word, they went unheard; those chaps are for a dunking.
You see, our lads had doffed their phones and cream cakes were partaking.
In their own separate ways, Lewis Carroll and Tony Hancock have added to the sum total of British humour. “Through the Looking Glass” and “The Radio Ham” being great examples of their work.
A Separate Shack is the Dream of many a Ham but there is Another Side to that Coin.
My Kingdom for a Shed
You see - I’d bought this old shed,
Less than perfect, it's said,
Then my dearest said quite reasonably,
“If that's just for your gear,
And your rig and your beer,
You could be back in the house with me.”
“But if it's with that old junk,
That you'd prefer to bunk,”
My dearest said questioningly.
“Not in our own bed,
That we've had since we wed,
Then please listen to my plea.”
“Now I know you worship that gear
Even though I'm so near,”
My dearest said regretfully.
“But it can't make you mad,
Neither happy or sad,
So it's not quite as human as me.”
“Then what good will it do
When you're down with the flu,”
My dearest said quietly.
“Will it rub your chest,
Will it change your vest,
And carry and fetch; don’t you see?”
“And when it rains and it pours
You'd be better indoors,”
My dearest said helpfully.
“Because this things sprung a leak,
It's like a sieve as we speak
And it's starting to drip in your tea.”
So I've cleared out that shack
And have moved it all back
Where she can keep her eye on me.
But I'm not quite so daft,
Since I'm out of that draft,
And cosy and warm as can be!
__________________________________
A Little Bit of Ham Whimsy or “The Case of My Idle Keyboard.”
My Rig is Better than Your's
Tankersley, Willoughby, Sparky and Pratt
Were very old hams and were having a spat.
'Cos Tank said to them, “My antenna so tall,
I can work anything; I'm just having a ball”.
Now Willy he wouldn't have any of that
As he knew that Tank's rig was a bit of old tat.
What's more his antenna, an old five-RV,
Was bent with one end tied low to a tree.
But while he was casting his aspersions around
His own was from a tip that he'd recently found.
While he knew their set-ups were all so much later
His strength was in contests as a fine operator.
Complete with an eye-patch and a bit of a leer
Sparky spent all his pension on some very nice gear.
So he thought he could work any station out there
But hasn’t with countries not even listed as rare.
And while Pratty's set-up was nice to behold,
It drifted quite badly if truth could be told.
He didn't work Morse, though he'd never admit,
And even on sideband he wandered a bit.
Now with all of this posturing a contest was slated
To sort out the wheat from the chaff it was stated.
But our Tank had a cough and then Willy the flu,
While Sparky broke a leg as old Pratty did too.
So we never found out whose rig was the best
And next week they were all at the club with the rest.
Its odd to think that they got better so quickly
But apologies and friendships do a lot for the sickly.
__________________________________
73 de G3LLV - 2014